


group chat: vatreni

by peachy-ivqn (drqco)



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Group chat, M/M, literally the whole croatian nt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2020-05-01 22:21:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19186522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drqco/pseuds/peachy-ivqn
Summary: dejan has made a group chat: vatrenidejan: hello IDIORS





	1. vatreni

**Author's Note:**

> LITERALLY crack dont take this seriously lmao 
> 
> if u guys want i might make another part ........................

[dejan has made a group chat: vatreni]

dejan: hello IDIORS

sime: idiors

dejan: piss off

mario: the hell is.,. this ?

dejan: a gc so we can be united with one another marion

luka: oh woW watch All of your alnguage

mateo: huh?

dejan: hi mateo

dejan: confused as usual hmm

dejan: nvm i'm confused too

luka: ijfl mea 32 rsad f oof

mateo: is he getting kidnapped????

ante: LOOOOOOL

krama: lmao

raki: woah woah RESPECT your captain

raki: and he sat on his phone

sime: yes i agree respect luka but ivan

sime: how do you know he sat on his phone??

[raki has left the group chat]

mario: oh

domo: HI MARIO !

sime: that's gay

mario: SAYS YO U .

sime: wait dej invite ivan back we need to interrogate him

sime: ill make a pm

[sime has invited dejan, ivan, and luka to a private group chat]

sime: speak up cowards

dejan: yeah

sime: also are u guys texting each other from the same room that's weird

raki: no im cooking and i saw him sit on his phone from the living room

dejan: gay

raki: says you

raki: and yeah we r dating

sime: gay again but we knew we just wanted to hear it come our of ur mouths

[group chat: vatreni]

dejan: guys they're together

mario: FINALLY they admitted it .

mario: i have a pic of them on a couch togehtr

mateo: why???????????

ante: probably blackmail

mario: ive taught u well

mario: no but seriously

mario: it was from months ago i caught them sleeping together on the couch hugging and shit

luka: hey u know we're still here right

raki: aww i remember that u're so soft

luka: thank u babe!!!!

mario: shouldve never said anything damn it

raki: well you DID

mateo: [ivanandluka.png]

mateo: i have this one too :)

luka: we're cute

carli: HI GUYS

ante: HI CARLI please save us luka and ivan are too mushy

carli: ante i think they're just being a you know normal couple

ante: wdym normal that's mushy

carli: i feel bad 4 all ur gfs now

luka: doesnt he have a bf

ante: i do?

krama: now you dont

ante: i said im sorry its not my fault that cheerios are the superior cereal

[krama has left the group chat]

ante: fuck hold on im just gonna log off real quick

dejan: guys i made this group chat for FUN

raki: dejan are u and sime together im just curious

dejan: lol what you all know we're best friends

sime: yeah

luka: mhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[luka has made a group chat: the sime and dejan problem]

luka: hello kids

luka: answer me STRAIGHT or you all will feel the consequences

mateo: lmao what consequences

luka: extra laps

mateo: ok what

luka: are they together

mateo: no

domo: nope

lovre: no

livi: No, I don't think so!

luka: are u guys serious um... i thought they were together

carli: wow i thought they were as well! we need to get them together!

tin: YES PLEASE

peri: bros fr they'd be so great together

raki: i'm 100% sure that they have feelings for each other but he thinks that he doesnt have feelings for him which is why they wont do anything and vice versa

ante: oddly specific........but ok

domo: ante ur alive omg

ante: yeah but andrej is still super pissed

luka: ivan that is weirdly specific i agree also hi ante we need your help

ante: just shove and lock them in a room for hours until they say something

ante: simple

mateo: they're gonna set the room on fire or some shit

ante: threaten them duh

mario: you have learned well

domo: HI MARIO AGAIN

mario: hi domo

ante: holy shit thats cute fuck

luka: yeah no ante nevermind

livi: I think we could just set up a date for them.

raki: ^ simple but effective

tin: they already do that though!! every thing a couple does they do minus the kissing

tin: THEY EVEN CUDDLE AND BUY EACH OTHER VALENTINE'S PRESENTS

tin: so idk

luka: alright let me think

luka: more interregation?

domo: yup!

[luka has made a group chat: consulting gays]

mario: haha im not gay though

domo: HI MARIO AGAIN AGAIN :D

mario: ok ill stay hi domo

dejan: what is this are u guys making group chats without me :(

sime: what are we doing

luka: me n ivan are captains so we need to figure something very important out okay

luka: also i just realized that this is literally half the team wow

raki: ANYWAY dej whats ur type

dejan: why

ante: answer him.

dejan: ok uh curly hair???? a good fashion sense, really funny, super sweet, and knows how to balance me out

krama: o shit

raki: mhm how about u sime

sime: well ah really funny, knows me really well, preferably tall, i mean like dej knows how to calm me n yknow, just be there for me

luka: alright ...............................

[the sime and dejan problem]

luka: uh they just described each other when we asked for types

luka: not to be off topic but what happened to u and ante, krama

krama: i have some blood on my hands but it's fine

livi: Woah are you okay, Andrej?

krama: yeah im fine livi but rip ante lol

livi: Um. Should I call the police?

krama: livi it's fine ante is okay i was just joking

livi: Sorry, it takes a while to get used to everything.

ante: yeah im fine surprisingly

raki: will we ever stay on topic in this chat

peri: wait what just happened

luka: read my texts idiots

mateo: oh WOW

luka: [screenshot.jpg]

luka: proof ^

suba: oh w o w

luka: oh hi suba! didnt think youd talk

suba: yeah im here

suba: also yes we need to get them together

ante: just ask them if they like each other you guys make this so complicated

andrej: yeah

domo: um.... ante and krama agreeing for once um

luka: alright ante and krama make a gc with dej and me n ivan will make one with sime deal

ante: yesssssssss ma'am

[ante has invited krama and dejan to a private group chat]

ante: hello gays

krama: hello

dejan: hi what is this uh

ante: i want u to answer this straight dejan lovren

krama: straight LMAO as if he can

[ante has kicked krama from the group chat]

[consulting gays]

krama: i was kicked

mario: by who? dejan?

krama: ante

domo: damn it krama

[ante and dejan: private message]

dejan: okay what do you want?

ante: do you have feelings for sime?

dejan: you can't just ask that ante

ante: why not

dejan: it's complicated

dejan: sime doesnt like me like that

ante: WHEN DID I ASK FOR WHAT SIME FEELS?

ante: you two are the absolute WORSE christ

dejan: i like sime

ante: like best friend or like like

dejan: the latter

dejan: why are u asking this? please, just don't do anything or say anything. i dont want anything to happen please

ante: why?

dejan: he's my best friend, ante! and i guess thats enough for me.

ante: then why'd you confess?

ante: don't you think that some part of you wants that?

[dejan has the left the private message]

ante: shit

[the sime and dejan problem]

ante: dej likes him

ante: [dejconfession.jpg]

domo: oh wow

luka: alright it's go time

[luka has invited raki and sime to a group chat]

sime: what's up captains

raki: the sky

luka: and ur the one who tells people to stay on topic

luka: anyway sime we've got something to ask u

sime: shoot

raki: be honest

sime: um.... okay

luka: do you like dejan?

sime: well course i do he's my best friend

raki: don't play dumb.

sime: okay fine.

sime: i like him, in the way that you like luka or ante likes andrej. or domo likes mario even though they won't say anything.

sime: i dont know i just dont want to say anything to him

sime: our friendships enough and im going to get over him i really am.

sime: why do you guys ask

luka: nothing

sime: you're a bad liar, even through texts luka :(

sime: just don't say anything alright i trust in you guys

raki: what if we said he liked u back?

sime: don't get my hopes up

[sime has left the private group chat]

luka: oh no :(

[the sime and dejan problem]

raki: sime likes him!!!

raki: [simeconfession.jpg]

peri: what are we going to do?

krama: we send the screenshots to them and whatever happens next is fair game

ante: i agree tbh

raki: yeah same

luka: agreed

luka: does anyone disagree?

livi: Nope!

raki: ok ante send your dej screenshots to sime and ill send sime's screenshots to dej's

ante: yes sir

tin: let's get this bread boys

krama: what the fuck

tin: yeah u know bread

tin: kruh, brot

krama: we're not getting bread though

livi: Krama, how do you not know that term?

tin: yeah seriously

krama: is this a new language or something because the bread I KNOW we cant get right now

tin: you're just 4 yrs older than me and 3 yrs older than livi how do you not know this term??????????? look it up idiot

mario: what's let's get this bread i dont know what that is

luka: yeah what is that

livi: Just fucking look it up.

krama: WOAH WOAH WOAH livi this is a new side of u

luka: LANGUAGE LIVI

raki: on TOPIC

raki: i sent mine no response

ante: same no response either

luka: alright alright let's talk in vatreni and we can see what happens

luka: no mentioning of this chat. if you mention this chat extra laps ........

[group chat: vatreni]

tin: have you guys looked up the definition of bread yet

carli: im eating bread right now!

carli: [breadman.jpg]

livi: Wow!

livi: Guys look at my frog!

livi: [frog.jpg]

livi: I love her so much :D

tin: she's so cute aww

livi: She's a baby!

mateo: i hate this fucking chat cute frog

peri: cute frog!!!!!!!!

krama: what a BABY

krama: here's my chameleon

krama: [chamcham.jpg]

krama: his name is niko

ante: i love him so much

tin: aw

luka: did everyone just bond over a frog and a chameleon

ante: well they're cute

tin: did ante just call something cute

peri: woah

lovre: UH

brozo: epic

mateo: christ im confused

tin: WAIT GUYS I FOUND THIS PIC OF LIVI :/

tin:  

luka: wow

raki: looks exactly like him actually

brozo: epic

domo: holy crap i never realized how much livi looked like a frog

livi: Haha, that's really funny, Tin!!!

tin: off topic but livi turn off auto correct and auto caps

livi: Why?

tin: just do it

livi: ok just did

tin: alrightttt now u look like a regular millennial texting

livi: why does everyone text like that then

tin: cause i already turned off luka's and mario's for them they didnt know how to i made them sound like millennials

luka: tin we're all millennials 

tin: then why do u act like an old man all the time 

 

mario: fine u got us there 

tin: anyway back on the frog or should i say livi

livi: hey!!!

tin: i never realized how much livi looks like a frog

tin: i mean not in a bad way because frogs are cute and livi is cute

suba: well

mateo: uh

peri: um

carli: uh tin

tin: yeah just give me a second

[tin has left the group chat: vatreni]

livi: tin?

livi: :( ill go talk to him

luka: yeah do that livi

sime: hey gUYS

peri: well hello sime how are you doing on this fine day

sime: really good hru guys

ante: ............. fine

sime: um ok

sime: ive got a really important announcement

raki: WHAT

domo: is it

mario: is this IT

lovre: what

luka: :0

brozo: epic

krama: please

mateo: actually praying rn

suba: what

sime: me and dejan are together :D

luka: FINALLY

raki: it worked it FUCKING WORKED

ante: what a joyous day

carli: :D

peri: congrats!!!!! even though we knew

mario: finally jesus

brozo: epic

suba: wow

dejan: wait where's livis message i like his wholesome messages

sime: yeah did he go offline

domo: read the messages above

domo: yay

domo: HI MARIO!

mario: hey domo :)

sime: o shit that's wack

sime: but tbh they'd be amazing together

dejan: yeah totally

dejan: btw this is a psa to luka and ivan: we're the supreme gays

luka: lmao what are u guys talking about

raki: hello why we're obviously better???????

ante: HELLO U GUYS DO REALIZE THAT ME AND KRAMA EXIST

sime: we're obviously get the title of supreme gays because 1. we have the best style 2. best looks 3. we're just a power couple

luka: HELLO HAVE U SEEN ME N IVAN OUT IN THE MID

luka: AND THE FACT THAT WE'RE CAPTAINS

ante: um u do realize that me and krama assist each other right

luka: best looks my ass ivan obviously has the best looks

ivan: omg no luka has the best he's way better than me

luka: babe no

ante: TIME TO END THE COMPETITION

ante: [kramama.jpg]

andrej: babe :(

dejan: uh hello me and sime are duo DEFENDERS

raki: okay it's time to end it once and for all.

luka: ooh proper punctuation

raki: since me and luka were the FIRST couple on the team we should be considered the king gays............

ante: damn

sime: fine ok

ante: does that mean and andrej are the prince gays

mario: you know what guys just take it to another gc im dying over here

mario: btw i agree with ivan

peri: i agree but i agree with raketa

domoMarc: same :/ but if my opinion matters i agree with ivan

ante: FINE

luka: but guys

luka: i think we have something else on our hands

[luka has created a group chat: the mario and domo problem/the tin and livi problem]

luka: let's get this bread


	2. team bonding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is genuinely so bad i was just reading other gc fics and i realized i could update my own lmao 
> 
> also their texting styles have changed from the first chapter and there's actually no plot to this it's so dumb omg

luka: hey Guys 

ivan: hi king! love u 

mario: gay lol 

luka: that is Homophobia u Are homophobic 

dejan: luka why are ur letters capitalized like that 

luka: they look Cool 😎 

sime: STOP with the emojis captain only use them ironically 

luka: 😝🤣🤪😜👌👨❤️👨😓😪 

sime: @ ivan get ur mans 

luka: u cant Stop me from Liking Emojis 

carli: guys please its 5 am 

ante: sleep is 4 the weak 

krama: luka why'd you start talking whats up 

luka: well i was Thinking of doing some team Bonding 

mateo: sounds fun im down 

mateo: also hi!! 

suba: Okay, so is everyone awake? Does anyone here actually sleep? 

suba: Carli, it's 5, not 4, you forgot to set your clock back, remember? 

domo: wait what i thought it was 3 

suba: Nevermind. 

luka: suba do u have anY ideas For Team Bonding 

suba: Bowling is cool. 

mario: like anyone here could bowl lmao 

mario: except me 

ivan: luka's good 

carli: when did u guys bowl? 

ivan: well one time his niece and nephew came over and they brought their wii 

ivan: so we ended up playing wii bowling all night and luka won by a landslide 

dejan: ok but does that actually mean hes good at real life bowling? 

ivan: i mean luka's good at everything so i dont see why not 

luka: you are my King i Love you So much ivan rakitic ! 

peri: stop being gay on my tl 

suba: What's a tl? 

luka: Homophobia you are banned from the nt peri 

peri: just kidding 😔u guys are my favorite couple 

sime: okay then............ 

ante: yikes.........wow...... 

ivan: thank u 

ivan: btw guys why arent tin and livi responding :/ 

lovre: they're sleeping together 

domo: WHAT ante: UM........ 

krama: y'all hear sum....... 

mateo: THIS EARLY HUH.................. 

suba: But they're so innocent. 

lovre: NOT LIKE THAT 

lovre: they're just 

lovre: sleeping 

lovre: [liviandtin.png] 

luka: that is Cute but why do you have a Picture...,..,.. 😳 

lovre: well i was sleeping until u dumbasses started texting but when i got up tin was in me and livi's room so he must've snuck out of brozo's 

lovre: tin and livi keep their phones muted when they sleep nd brozo must be sleeping bc he would've replied right now 

dejan: wow a real investigator ;) quit the nt and join the fbi lovre 

sime: why are u using the winky face :[

dejan: i love an investigator ;) 

sime: STOP are u cheating on me 

dejan: NO i swear i love u and only u baby 

sime: ily 

ante: it's too early for this 

domo: u guys are so cute!! i wish i had a relationship like that 

mateo: hehe i know someone who could u a relationship like that....

domo: haha who? 

mateo: mar 

mateo: its m 

mateo: man 

mateo: MA 

mateo: HEKP IN GETTUNG ATTRACKED BI MARTIO HELP

domo: mario stop that 

mario: sorry domo 

domo: :( 

domo: what does he mean? 

mario: WHAT MATEO MEANS is that MARRIAGE can give u a relationship like that ahaha 

domo: oh okay :/ 

luka: domo Are you Dumb 

mateo: im free 

ivan: we're off topic WE JUST WANTED TO ASK WHAT TEAM BONDING ACTIVITY WE SHOULD DO 

ivan: mario u are so obvious btw 

mario: off topic my ass you're off topic ivan 

krama: damn domo rly be making u act different........that was the worse insult ive heard 

krama: ive got a better one for ivan 

krama: chicken little headass.......ur blonde hair making u look like uncooked ramen noodles 

ante: no thats neymar 

ante: but i agree ivan does look like chicken little 

krama: our minds! 

ante: it's cause we're telepathic babe 

luka: Stop this act Right Now or you'll Never see the Light of day 

ante: luka ur too soft u would never beat us up

luka: say Sorry right Now or more Laps

ivan: :( 

krama: IM SORRY 

ante: WE R SORRY IVAN U DONT LOOK LIKE CHICKEN LITTLE 

ivan: fine.......

ivan: thank u for defending me babe that was hot 

mateo: this groupchat makin me wanna leave the nt 

mario: do it coward 

mateo: well u already did :/ 

krama: TOO SOON 

domo: TOO EARLY

dejan: DAMN....... u did that 

sime: IM SAD NOW :( 

carli: you're making me sad :( 

suba: We're still on the team, in our hearts. 

suba: And in this groupchat, lol. 

ivan: wait so did we agree to team bonding 

luka: say i If You want Bowling 

sime: .... 

dejan: ....... 

krama: .........

ante: ...................

mario: .....................

ivan: okay we get it :( 

luka: we could always go on A group Hike Maybe? 

mario: someone WILL end up dead and i wish i was joking 

sime: someone would fall 

dejan: i dont trust us 

mateo: im scared of heights 

luka: Okay then No 

peri: why dont we just go out to a bar and drink lol we've never done that 

sime: we've never done that??????? 

lovre: apparently not 

dejan: wow crazy 

mateo: im all for it 

carli: same 

suba: Might have to babysit. 

krama: LET'S DO IT 

ante: IM READY 

ivan: i miss my king my world my boyfriend luka modric

krama: and you're not going off topic huh........ 

ante: arent you guys in the same room???? lol 

ivan: yeah but hes in the bathroom :(( 

luka: i miss You too ivan rakitic :( 

dejan: wait 

dejan: why dont u just ask coach 

dejan: we should get his opinion on something for once 

sime: yeah lol 

luka: fine Then ill Add him 

_[luka has added zlatko to vatreni]_

domo: hey king zlatko 😝

zlatko: no 

_[zlatko has left vatreni]_

mario: same


End file.
